Looking for a bit of inspiration to get your week started off on the right foot? Can you appreciate a bit of dry humor? Do you love taxes? Well then look no further – this is the post for you! Below you’ll find some memorable, sardonic, and utterly hilarious quotes regarding taxes, all drawn from Jeffrey L. Yablon’s famous compilation: As Certain as Death: Quotations about Taxes.


1. “The taxpayer: that’s someone who works for the federal government, but doesn’t have to take a civil service examination.” –Ronald Reagan

President Reagan certainly had something to say about taxes.

President Reagan certainly had something to say about taxes.

2. “We have what it takes to take what you have.” –Suggested IRS Motto

3. “The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.” –Barry Goldwater

4. “You must pay taxes. But there’s no law that says you gotta leave a tip.”–Morgan Stanley advertisement

5. “If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead–if you strike oil.” –J. Paul Getty

6.  “The tax code is a monstrosity and there’s only one thing to do with it. Scrap it, kill it, drive a stake through its heart, bury it and hope it never rises again to terrorize the American people.” –Steve Forbes

7. “The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” –Will Rogers

8. “It is a paradoxical truth that tax rates are too high today and tax revenues are too low, and the soundest way to raise the revenues in the long run is to cut the tax rates.” –John F. Kennedy

9. “Make sure you pay your taxes; otherwise you can get in a lot of trouble.” –Richard M. Nixon

10. “You don’t pay taxes–they take taxes.” –Chris Rock

11. “For a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.” –Winston Churchill

12. “Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.” –Herman Wouk

13. “I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money.” –Arthur Godfrey

14. “A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.” –G. Gordon Liddy

15. “Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.” –Calvin Coolidge

16. “The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” –Albert Einstein

I would argue Quantum Physics are certainly up there too.

I would argue Quantum Physics are certainly up there too.

17. “In 1790, the nation which had fought a revolution against taxation withoutrepresentation discovered that some of its citizens weren’t much happier about taxation with representation.” –Lyndon B. Johnson

18. “All taxes discourage something. Why not discourage bad things like pollution rather than good things like working or investment?” –Lawrence Summers

19. “I’d like somebody to get rid of the death tax. That’s what I want. I don’t want to get taxed just because I died. I just don’t think it’s right. If I give something to my kid, I already paid the tax. Why should I have to pay it again because I died?” –Whoopi Goldberg

20. “The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they’re useless.” –Dave Barry


JDKatz: Attorney's At Law

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